Relationships Blog http://cektakidz.ru Sat, 23 May 2009 22:13:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 en hourly 1 Put an End to Emotional Terrorism in Your Relationships http://cektakidz.ru/put-an-end-to-emotional-terrorism-in-your-relationships/ http://cektakidz.ru/put-an-end-to-emotional-terrorism-in-your-relationships/#comments Sat, 23 May 2009 22:13:17 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/put-an-end-to-emotional-terrorism-in-your-relationships/ First let me explain what I mean by “emotional terrorism.”

When you have a relationship, at home or at work, with a person who’s constantly humiliating you, harassing you, pressuring on you, taking pleasure in your pain, saying negative things about you or making you feel worthless, then you are caught in a situation of emotional terrorism.

By staying in a relationship with someone who feels the need to put you down and beat you up (physically or psychologically), you actually keep on feeding his destructive attitude. It’s hard to conceive why so many people stay together with such a partner, but they do. This is because of a belief that they don’t deserve any better, that they are not worthy of real love. They lack self-respect and don’t really consider getting out of the relationship. They are stuck because the vibrational energy of the dysfunctional relationship matches the low level of their own self-esteem.

People without self-respect attract, by their vibration, abusive individuals who then “confirm” that they don’t deserve any respect. The outside world mirrors to you what’s going on inside yourself. If you have a partner who is beating you up, then that’s because somehow you are already beating yourself up from inside. Does your partner constantly harass you? Does your partner drown you with negative remarks, no matter what you do? Then start by looking to how you are harassing yourself, and how many negative remarks you are aiming at yourself. Being surrounded with negative people is caused by your relationship with yourself being very degrading as well.

Your partner doesn’t love you? This first thing to look at is whether you really love yourself. Because if you love yourself, so will your partner. If you love yourself, then it is impossible for an unloving partner to remain in your life. If you maintain a positive inner dialogue with yourself, then you are simply not aligned with a person that is trashing you with negativity. When you find yourself in a long-term relationship with such a person, then this is testimony to how bad your relationship with yourself really is.

Step 1 &ndash First you have to honestly examine the quality of your external relationships. If the quality of the relationship is very low, then break up and leave. It’s only fair to take some time to fully make up your mind, but remember that leaving someone doesn’t have to take ages. However, your own security is always the first priority. If you are in danger then leave immediately. Later on, when you get back on your feet again, you can still take time to analyze the situation to see how you got involved in such a relationship.

If you notice that your relationship is bad, but there is no immediate threat to your life or well being, then step out of the grasp the emotional terrorist has on you by doing the following. First, understand that someone who has to hurt other people to feel good himself, is a vampire. He sucks your energy up to stay alive himself. These people are sick, both in their head and in their heart.

Probably they had a troublesome childhood and never learned how to love, but this is no excuse for their behavior and surely not a reason for you to stay with them. Don’t play therapist in your relationship! Any adult who commits himself to positive change can do it, but it is not your role to bring your partner to a healthy behavior. You will lose time, energy and self esteem. Your efforts will be in vain. Why would this energy vampire make an effort to better himself if he can easily feed off the energy of his victim? Ask yourself this question: “Do I want to be the victim of an energy vampire?”

Everybody who has lived through a vampire-victim relationship knows how difficult it is to withdraw from the grip of such a person. Their tactics are so subtle and covert that it is indeed difficult for the mentally sane person to understand the strategies of the emotional terrorist. Everything they do is set up to make you doubt.

Behold the infernal vampire-victim combination: the vampire pretends to “know everything” while the victim “doubts herself.” This combination is fatal, because whenever you see clearly and realize you’re targeted by emotional terrorism, the vampire will promptly start acting very friendly just to make you second-guess your conclusion. Whenever you see him like he really is and decide to leave, his strategy is to go back to some kind of honeymoon feeling to make you doubt your opinion. You will say to yourself, “How could I have thought so bad about him? See how friendly he is! Nobody else has ever said such kind words to me.” Beware! Don’t forget that the vampire will lull you to sleep before attacking! You become less awake, less alert, and when you have been fooled again into thinking he’s a friendly person, things go back to “normal” and he attacks again.

His attacks get worse and worse while your defense gets weaker and weaker. He wants to empty you completely, until there is nothing left of you. What he wants (unconsciously perhaps, but that doesn’t matter) is to depersonalize you, to cut your ego into little pieces, until you no longer exist as your own person; that’s when he has complete power over you.

Step 2 &ndash After examining the quality of your relationship, the second thing to do is to carefully listen to yourself! Instead of listening to that energy vampire, listen to your feelings! Whenever you are experiencing fear in your relationship, you are not in a loving relationship! Love and fear do not go together. Where there is fear, love cannot exist. Take your feelings seriously! Fear doesn’t come falling out of nowhere; it is an important signal that something is wrong.

Step 3 &ndash Here’s a trick to quickly escape somebody’s grip. Make a list of everything the other says just to make you feel bad. Assign a number to each phrase, and learn this list by heart. Now every time he gives you a negative remark, don’t react to it but instead go to your list and mark the corresponding phrase. Every night, review your list and keep statistics: make an overview to check daily how many times he used the first phrase, the second phrase, and so on. This will help you to stop reacting to the negativity and to stop feeding it. So don’t answer, but just check your list. It will only take a few days to know the list by heart!

Step 4 - Be aware of the fact that an emotional terrorist will not just let his victim slip through his hands without a fight! He will double his efforts to keep you down. Don’t stay with someone like that. If it is your partner, leave him. If it is your boss, find yourself another job. If it is your mother or father, keep some distance for a while and go visit them in little doses. Talk to a lawyer if you must. In any case, a person behaving like that cannot be cured in a matter of weeks. If you ask me, he may never be cured at all in his lifetime.

Staying in this kind of fearful relationship is a ticket to hell! So don’t stick around waiting for the impossible, but start living your own life. You are worthy of living a life of love, happiness and freedom! NOBODY deserves to undergo such destructive behavior!

Step 5 &ndash Now that you have left that person, you can start to have a look at the relationship with yourself. Do you love yourself? Learn how to love yourself! Make a commitment to yourself never to get involved in such kind of relationships again. Be kind to yourself. If you want to do something for these people, pray for them, visualize how they get healed inside, but don’t stay with them. It is not your responsibility to cure them. To destroy yourself is not an option and won’t help them out either! You were meant to be loved, never forget that! Take care of yourself!

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DATE IDEAS http://cektakidz.ru/date-ideas/ http://cektakidz.ru/date-ideas/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 20:48:04 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/date-ideas/ Now that a sorry geek such as you has finally landed the girl of your dreams and everyone else’s dreams, let’s get to the hard part. The part where you keep the girl interested in you. This can also be described as the part where you end up selling your family fortunes and end up penniless, but that doesn’t matter as long as you’ve managed to keep your girl right.

Now let us analyze the concept of a date. The origins of the word ‘Date’ lie in ancient Arabia, where the summers, the springs, the girls and the winters are always hot. The age old tradition of Arabia decreed that males seen going out with females had to be violently punished. Hence hanging out inside the city was a little impossible, unless the wife was ok to the idea of a thing-less husband. So what the hormone heavy kids did was, they used to go out in the desert and hang out under the shade of the date palms. The word stuck and hence we go ‘dating’ nowadays.

Now, your date location is highly dependent on what sort of a person you are. There’s a concept in France where a huge barrel is filled with grapes and people get to stomp on them and laugh and screech and pretend to have lots of fun while doing it. If you’re a extremely insecure person, I would not advise you to use this tactic because you don’t want to see a hunk ‘fall’ on your wife/girlfriend, thrash about in the grape slush and have lots of fun while you run away crying. So for all of you insecure guys out there, please avoid such ‘contact sports’-dates, or get an insecure girl who’d rather cling on to you than be clung onto. You might also want to check out the dating avenues offered by a gay bar. You’d be able to completely eliminate ‘guys hitting on your girl’ from the equation then, giving you ‘quality’ time to spend with your girl.

Now for married couples, there is an extremely radical and absolutely ‘win-win’ date concept you might want to explore. A date with a married couple. That way, you could gain valuable information about the joys of being married (if you get what I mean) and add to the pleasures of your married life. Worst case scenario, your wife could end up falling for the other husband, but don’t worry. You shouldn’t miss the trick here. You can always hit on the other wife if that happens.

Now for the hard core romantics, I suggest falling back on history for inspiration. Way back in history. I suggest going to an apple orchard and picking apples together. If you think that this idea sucks, I’d suggest you remind yourself what happened after Eve ate The Apple. Doesn’t suck so much now does it?

Or if you’re the rather conservative lover, you can check out the usual love spots in your locality and keep your chick entertained. Now don’t ask me how to keep your chick entertained because that’s your job. If I did that, she’d be my girl, not yours.

If nothing works out and your girl’s getting losing interest, I recommend falling back on the ‘date-under-the-date-palms’ thing. A date palm’s never disappointed anyone on a date. So far.

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Refreshing Your Relationship: Schedule Some Fun Time http://cektakidz.ru/refreshing-your-relationship-schedule-some-fun-time/ http://cektakidz.ru/refreshing-your-relationship-schedule-some-fun-time/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 00:03:49 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/refreshing-your-relationship-schedule-some-fun-time/ Ask anyone in a committed long-term union for the secret of their success. Almost always, one of the top three reasons cited is the ability to laugh together. No matter how big the problems, or how many the obstacles, they will be most effectively approached with a sense of humor and the teamwork that emerges from shared laughter and a mutually positive outlook.

While some fun costs money: an amusement park, a fine meal out, a trip to Vegas, or that hilarious new movie, there are many fun activities that don't cost a dime. Give your partner the gift or being a slave for a week, including the requisite master or mistress verbiage, pulling your forelock, bowing or curtseying, and backing out of the room. The results can be very funny, especially if carried into public or in front of the kids.

Both of you call in sick to work and play hooky - hang out at the mall like truant high school sophomores. Spend some time coming up with totally outrageous excuses that you know you will never be able to deliver with a straight face. If it's summer, wash the car, and each other, in the driveway. If it's winter, have a snowball fight or walk in the rain. Walk along the beach or in the hills or stroll through town window shopping.

Watch television together: not the dreary news but old Seinfeld or Lucy reruns which are just as funny as when they were made. Search out joke sites on the Internet or spend some time at the drugstore just looking at funny greeting cards. Tell stories about things that happened to you before you met and reminisce about the fun times you've had since you first became an item.

Take a foreign language class at a local adult school and decide that you will only communicate in that language over dinner, if nothing else it will really polish your charades ability. Take an art class and laugh at your own ineptness with color and perspective. Take a bus or train ride and make up stories about the other passengers, Sing Kareoke and mutually laugh at the probable response your efforts would elicit if you auditioned for "American Idol." Pretend you've just met and try out some stale pick up lines to see each other's reaction.

Life is so short and there are so many problems that arise and challenges that must be faced. At times, we become overwhelmed by the responsibilities we must bear and the energy required to keep our lives on an even keel.

Deliberately establishing "recess" periods gives us a break from the daily grind. Just as children don't learn well if they don't have a chance to go out and play, adults need a recess too. It allows us to return to work re-energized and renewed. The more we practice it, the more frequent it will become. Most importantly, the play time with our partner intensifies our relationship and can keep our affection green and growing through the years ahead.

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To Trust or not to Trust ! http://cektakidz.ru/to-trust-or-not-to-trust/ http://cektakidz.ru/to-trust-or-not-to-trust/#comments Wed, 20 May 2009 15:22:22 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/to-trust-or-not-to-trust/ Trust is something we learn as very small babies. We trust the first person that we bond with and it grows from there. Have you ever noticed how cool kids are? They trust every little thing we say. They rarely question us when we tell them something.

Believing our every word; and why not? They have not been exposed to mistrust yet, not that they would recognize it at such an early age.

Then they get older and come in contact with other children. This is when relationships begin., seperate from the familiar family relationships that they have grown to know as "normal". They begin to compare lifestyles with their friends and for some, this is when the first mistrust begins. They find out that it is not normal to be touched by people in their private parts. They find out that it is not normal to be beaten for doing something wrong. They find out that it is not normal to not be fed for a day or even two. They find that it is not normal to watch their dad hit their mom. They find lies, which gives birth to MISTRUST. Their lives turn an entire chapter at that point. They grow up somehow; suffering through the pain and loneliness of living with mistrust. For some they rise above it and use it as a learning tool. For others they become it; mistrusting everyone and everything. A small number of those people seek help and spend many hours and a great deal of energy trying to conquer it.

Then we have our jobs, we trust immediately anyone that has been there longer or that comes off as knowing more than us. We trust our bosses and our co-workers.

It is natural to trust as if we were babies all over again. With any new venture we yearn to trust.

When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life.

Once a trust is breached, it creates a scar that has it's own heart and never goes away. We just learn to ignore its beat. We try to reorganize our minds and put it on the farthest burner we have. Some of us can do just that, while others cannot. For them life is not so easy. They find themselves thinking, should I trust or not? It's like they have to find proof and reason to trust, because their minds already mistrust. This is similar to the term "Guilty until proven innocent". For anyone out there that can relate to that, and I am sure there are many of you that do just that, life is hell.

If, lets say we love someone and they tell us one thing, and we keep getting mixed signals that stir up our mistrust thoughts, where do we go with that? Books tell us, that we are to trust the ones we love and that's it. And then, if our trust gets breached, and only then, can we be accurate with our mistrust. "Blah" I say! Oh and we're also told at the same time to trust our gut feelings. OK, I admit confusion here. I know this subject is really going to cut like a knife for some people and I will apologize now, but we have to deal with the reality of our lives. How else are we going to tackle our insecurities and get stronger. Our goal is to have a somewhat happy life. One that we can talk about to our grandchildren. We have to open our eyes and know what is going on in our wolds. If your relationship has had a breach of trust or if you have experienced mistrust earlier in your lives, then you already have a reason to feel insecure. Now that you know that, you can start to build up on that. Now you need to identify the exact core of it and toss it. Its old news and its over.

Start a whole new life as if being born again (for lack of a better phrase). I hear you already saying, "Easier said than done". I totally agree, but how many times have I said, "Anything worth having , does not come easy"? The answer is MANY. Life is not easy. We have to earned all our happiness. I have noticed, and I am guilty of this myself, that we are waiting for our lives to be happy. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about happiness and if I have realized anything at all, its that happiness is in you and your thinking and how you deal with every little thing. To Trust or not to Trust is in our control. If we choose not to trust, we open the door to all sorts of evil demons, such as jealousy, low self-esteem, anxiety, envy, selfishness, self-torture, worry, loneliness and just plain unhappiness. So when we feel that , "Trust or not trust" debate lurking in our minds, choose to not allow your mind to go that direction. Tell yourself, that you are an intelligent person and you know what is right and what is wrong right now. It'is now that you are living, not then, or the past. We are very good at deciding what we want to eat, right? Or where we want to vacation and spend tons of our hard earned money. So then why is it so hard for us to just change our train of thought? Let me tell you..HABITS!

Bad habits, and for any of you that have read my HABITS blog, then you know what I mean. So go back and read it again and again. I believe that if one really wants to change something, it CAN be changed. "Let your thoughts determine your goals and your goals determine your destiny" (something like that). We are all destined to be happy. We just have to focus on our goals.

Feeling mistrust definitely has been caused by something in our lives. We may never figure it out and some of us have already figured their reasons out. But for whatever the reason, it is a negative emotion and one we can surely do without. Work on it, then work on more trust and more love. When we can trust, love comes naturally and that always invites happiness. So there you have it! I have given you the steps; it is your responsibility to you to climb them. Again I have shared my thoughts with all of you. I would love to hear your thoughts, on anything I have shared with you here.

I take responsibility for my life.

I have the power to make things better.

I always have a choice.

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Giving Others the Benefit of the Doubt http://cektakidz.ru/giving-others-the-benefit-of-the-doubt/ http://cektakidz.ru/giving-others-the-benefit-of-the-doubt/#comments Wed, 20 May 2009 01:07:50 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/giving-others-the-benefit-of-the-doubt/ There’s a saying in aikido, “There are many lessons on the mat.” It means that when we’re practicing aikido we’re not just learning aikido, we’re also learning about life. For example, when someone grabs my wrist too hard and I get angry but don’t say anything, I eventually learn that it would be more useful to ask him not to grab so hard. I may also notice that it’s difficult for me to ask for what I want in other places in my life, that I suffer needlessly because of it, and that I blame others and justify my blaming instead of taking action. Many lessons . . .

I swim daily and notice that I have a new saying, similar to the aikido one, that goes “There are many lessons in the pool.” Every day I seem to have another internal learning adventure.

An example of this is the lane partner dilemma. Some swimmers are easy and quiet as they cut through the water; others splash. Some swim straight and stay in their own part of the lane, leaving plenty of room. Others flail and lunge, seemingly unaware that there is anyone else around. Just like in aikido, with some partners cooperation is easy. As if we were dancing, we know the timing and the moves and we flow easily with each other. With others it’s messy, and we’re stepping on each other’s toes all the time. Ever feel this way? At the pool, as in aikido, I find I can make the situation messier or easier depending on my attitude and actions.

Lesson #1: I am given many dance partners in life. Whether the dance is easy or difficult is influenced at least in part by me.

Please Pick Another Lane.

Which brings me to Lesson #2. One of the “difficult partners” seems to like to swim with me. I can’t figure it out. Even when there’s an empty lane, he gets in mine. He swims more slowly than I do, so I have to wait for him or double back so as not to “pass” him, which we’re not allowed to do at our pool. He splashes and his swimming is erratic, his arms swinging way out to the side and occasionally accidentally hitting me. When I see him coming I think, Oh no, please pick another lane. But he doesn’t.

One morning I came to the pool late and this gentleman was already swimming. There was an open lane next to his, and I sat on the edge and was doing my warm-ups when he came up for air. He looked over and motioned to me that he was getting out and I could have his lane. I thanked him but stayed where I was. I had a lane. He explained that he really liked his lane because there were no jets gushing water into the pool. The jets are very strong and bother him. The lane he was in &ndash the lane I usually swim in &ndash doesn’t have them. Aha! I say to myself. He doesn’t get into my lane just to annoy me. He dislikes the other lanes. And now he’s trying to give me the “good” lane. What a nice person!

Lesson #2: It’s not always about me.

The Benefit of the Doubt.

A third lesson from the pool is that people surprise me if I let them. Recently I got into the hot tub (“many lessons in the hot tub”) to relax after my swim. There was a man in there swishing his legs back and forth really hard, churning the water into waves. I closed my eyes and leaned against the edge of the tub and tried to mellow out. Impossible. I opened my eyes and looked at him, hoping he would see that he was disturbing me. Oblivious. I closed my eyes again. Getting worse. I was practically drowning in the churning hot water. I opened my eyes and looked again. Oblivious. I sighed out loud. Nope.

Okay, time to either get out of the tub or say something. I remembered that curiosity usually works better than accusation, and I asked, “Is that an exercise you’re doing?” He noticed me and smiled &ndash a really nice smile &ndash and said that yes, it was an exercise recommended by his doctor. He used to jog, loved jogging, but his knees could no longer support that activity. In fact, his knees could barely support walking, and swimming was one of the few things that helped; the swooshing motion strengthened the ligaments. He went on to talk about jogging, swimming, disappointment and his efforts to reinvigorate his knees and stay in shape. What a nice man, I thought.

Lesson #3: People usually have a positive intention. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

The benefit of the doubt: what does it mean? What doubt? Well, as I swim up and back and up and back I think it must mean giving other people the benefit that derives from doubting my preconceived notions about their motives. Is he really getting in my lane just to annoy me? Probably not. Is he churning up the water to keep others out? I think I’ll doubt that assumption and see what happens.

Usually what happens is that I discover a genuinely nice person behind the fog of my assumptions and have a really fun swim.

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Gift Basket Ideas for the Man in Your Life http://cektakidz.ru/gift-basket-ideas-for-the-man-in-your-life/ http://cektakidz.ru/gift-basket-ideas-for-the-man-in-your-life/#comments Mon, 18 May 2009 18:15:23 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/gift-basket-ideas-for-the-man-in-your-life/ Are you looking for a good gift idea for the man in your life? Are you never quite sure what to get him? Does he have t-shirts and ties you have gotten him hidden in the back of your closet? Even if your man is hard to buy for, there are great ideas out there. If you cannot think of a good gift for your man or are tired of giving him the same old thing, consider a gift basket. Most men have some type of hobby. It might be hunting, fishing, golf, or grilling out. No matter what your man likes to do, chances are you can find a gift basket that will make him happy!

You can purchase gift baskets online, but if you do not have enough time for it to be shipped, you can check your local stores. There may be stores that specifically make gift baskets listed in the phone book. If not, you might contact a local florist as many of them also make gift baskets for special occasions. If you cannot find a local shop and you do not have time to order online, do not panic. Making your own basket is easy enough. You can purchase a basket at any crafts store, use a blanket, apron, or paper to line it and stuff it full of goodies for your man!

Here are a few gift basket ideas:

Grilling Gift Basket - Most men love to grill out. If this describes your man, a grilling basket is a great gift idea. You can fill it with many things but you may want to start with a cute apron. You can go with one that is a cute pattern, like fish, chili peppers, or camouflage. On the other hand, you may be able to find an apron with a cute saying like “Kiss the Chef” or one a little more risqu

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Seeking Love through Matchmaking for Marriage Relationships (I) http://cektakidz.ru/seeking-love-through-matchmaking-for-marriage-relationships-i/ http://cektakidz.ru/seeking-love-through-matchmaking-for-marriage-relationships-i/#comments Sun, 17 May 2009 17:18:41 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/seeking-love-through-matchmaking-for-marriage-relationships-i/ Revival of traditional matchmaking service

Nowadays, communication has never been so fast; meeting people has never

been so easy, but more and more people are looking for and using some kind of matchmaking service &ndash online or offline.

We all see the revival of the millennium-old traditional matchmaking service industry. People looking for matchmaking service are serious love and marriage seekers. They are quite prepared to pay a huge amount of money in exchange for the highest rate of success in the shortest time possible. The Guinness Book of World Records listed Orly Hod (Orly the Matchmaker) &ndash whose fees run up to $100,000 &ndash as the world’s priciest matchmaker.

We don’t have to look at the statistics before we know more people live longer today than those a century ago; more people get divorced today than those a century ago. We begin to wonder why marriage relationship won’t last longer than those a century ago. Anyone could easily give dozens of reasons.

Of course, most people would think of love and marriage is more an art than a science. But recent research has discovered that even personality and behavior orientations have genetic determinants.

(dericbownds.net/2006/07/genes-that-regulate-risk-taking.html; best-relationship-advice.com/Best-Relationship-Advice_Matchmaking-Article5.php)

We also see what the matchmakers are basically applying in matching people is the nowadays "scientific" tool &ndash psychological tests, whether they are called compatibility test, survey or profile.

If the problematic issues of marriage relationship can aptly be resolved by employing compatibility test, life would relatively be easy.

Relationships might not depend on compatibility.

Relationship Adviser

Best-Relationship-Advice.com

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Bring On The Love With Aromatherapy Candles http://cektakidz.ru/bring-on-the-love-with-aromatherapy-candles/ http://cektakidz.ru/bring-on-the-love-with-aromatherapy-candles/#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 14:57:12 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/bring-on-the-love-with-aromatherapy-candles/ When you are trying to incite a romantic mood you need to have some good quality aromatherapy candles to arm yourself with. These aromatherapy candles will be what makes or breaks your romantic evening. You need to take special care when choosing the aromatherapy candles that you want to use as well. There is nothing like a terrible smell to turn someone off and nothing like a great one to turn them on. The trick is to know which is which. Remember that what smells good to you may not smell good to your partner.

When you are in the planning stages of your special night you need to find out what kinds of smells will thrill your partner. Men often respond well to vanilla. Some experts even claim that vanilla scents are a male aphrodisiac. So if your partner is a mail then you may want to get yourself some great vanilla aromatherapy candles. These will get him in the mood right as he walks in the door.

What makes vanilla such a good choice of aromatherapy candles is that it appeals to almost anyone, both men and women. Very few people dislike vanilla aromatherapy candles and they will not take away from anyone appetite. If you have some of these aromatherapy candles burning they will even make your dinner taste better. They put people in such a good mood and they make them hungry as well.

You can place your aromatherapy candles all over the house, but only in the rooms that you plan on spending some time in. You may want to mix in your aromatherapy candles with other non scented candles. If you have too many aromatherapy candles around the scent can become overwhelming and that is never good. You want your scented rooms to be subtle and stimulating. So one or two aromatherapy candles in a room at one time is a good idea.

You should also take care with the aromatherapy candles that you choose. If you want to mix the candle scents you need to watch carefully. Some scents will not mix together well at all. Before you have your special and romantic evening you need to test the smells together to see if they blend well. This is vitally important to your entire evening.

You may want to have your candles on the actual dinner table be regular non scented candles. Having aromatherapy candles on the table is probably not a very good idea as it can interfere with the flavors of the dinner itself. So keep the aromatherapy candles away from the dinner table and your dinner will be a bigger hit.

You can have aromatherapy candles in the bedroom as well but do not light these before you get in that room. You should never leave candles unattended for too long, especially if you have pets. They could knock them over and start a fire. Proper aromatherapy candle safety is necessary at all times.

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Friendship Test- Do Friends Love Talking To You? http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-test-do-friends-love-talking-to-you/ http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-test-do-friends-love-talking-to-you/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 15:48:39 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-test-do-friends-love-talking-to-you/ You must be having a large group of friends. You also deal with many people in your job or business. You interact with people at every stage of your life. Do you find that you love talking to one person and avoid talking to another? You must have noticed that. What is the difference between these two persons? Why do you enjoy talking to one of them and avoid talking to another? What about yourself? Have you thought about that?

We enjoy talking to people who have the following qualities -

Listening - Good communicators are good listeners. We all want to be heard without interruption. If you listen to your friends with attention, you will gain big popularity. Listen to them carefully, ask them few questions in between, and let them feel that you are interested in knowing about what they are talking.

Smiling Face - Good communicators don't frown easily. They keep a smile on their face and show genuine happiness talking to you. There is nothing phony there and they genuinely feel good talking to you.

Understanding - If you speak to a friend of yours and realizes that he/she does not understand at all, what would you do? You would avoid talking in future, because you have doubts about the grasping power of the listener.

No criticism - A good listener will listen without giving his/her own inputs in between and listen to everything without expressing any criticism. Even if he/she disagrees totally, they will show that indirectly but never criticize. Do you have these qualities? If yes, your friends would love talking to you.

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Friendship Day - Bury Old Enmity http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-day-bury-old-enmity/ http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-day-bury-old-enmity/#comments Thu, 14 May 2009 15:22:24 +0000 admin http://cektakidz.ru/friendship-day-bury-old-enmity/ Friendship day is celebrated on August 7, every year. It is a day to wish our friends and meet and have fun together. Can we use this day for something else? That is to bury enmity? Please go back to your school days and trace your friends till now. You will find few persons, with who you were good friends, but on the way because of some tiffs or misunderstandings, the friendship turned to enmity. You no longer remained friends after that.

Are you happy about that? The wounds of what happened may still be raw and you may have no desire to make friends with those people again. You might even hate them. Does this help us in our life? Our wounds hurt us most. We stop our growth with negative thoughts and emotions. What if you were friends again? Would you not feel good? Recollect anytime, when you have donated anything to a charity. What did you feel at that time? You felt very good, isn't it? How about giving friendship in charity to some old friends who have turned enemies?

We have a short life to live. In our life, we collect lot many impressions, and we change as we grow. Sometimes we wistfully look back and feel that something that happened should not have happened. But you cannot turn the clock back. How about becoming friends again. How about forgiving the old friend. How will it feel if you erase the memories of ill feelings towards him/her? You will feel cleansed. You will feel fresh and you will feel inspired. The only thought blocking you would be - how to show the hand of friendship? Why not send a ecard on friendship Day? How about sending a Good Day ecard on that day to that friend, or a Thank You ecard saying thanks for becoming friends again. Or a sorry ecard and bury the old enmity forever? An ecard will save you from the embarrassment of meeting face to face and you will always know how the other person is responding without losing your self-esteem. What do you think?

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